It's heartbreaking to hear women struggling with body image, self-esteem, and intimacy issues, even within their marriages. But here's what you need to know: that's not what you deserve, and it's not what God wants for you. Today, I want to share my personal journey through mastectomy and the worries I had about intimacy with my husband post-surgery.
The Beauty Beyond Physical Appearance
When I first met my husband, I was captivated by his beautiful blue eyes. Little did I know how important that gaze would become 25 years into our marriage. When I received the news that I needed a double mastectomy, I was terrified, not only of the surgery itself but also of how I would look afterward. I scoured the web for information but found nothing that addressed the emotional and marital impact of mastectomy.
Unwavering Support and Unconditional Love
Amidst the confusion, my husband said something extraordinary. He reassured me, saying, "You're my wife. I love you, and that's never going to change. I didn't marry you for your breasts." His words didn't fully sink in until later, but when they did, I let go of all the worries and stresses. I trusted him and realized that my worth as a woman is not defined by my physical attributes. I decided to forgo reconstructive surgeries and opted for prosthetics instead.
Embracing Vulnerability and Unveiling
After the surgery, I faced the challenge of drain maintenance. Initially hesitant about my husband assisting me, I realized his unwavering commitment to taking care of me. As the nurse explained the procedure, my focus was solely on my husband's eyes. Would he flinch? Would he be repulsed? To my relief, his eyes never wavered. I knew then that he was fine with the new me.
Rediscovering Self-Acceptance
Coming home from the hospital, I was apprehensive to confront my new reflection in the mirror. It took me a while to gather the courage, but when I did, I saw a different version of myself. I confess; it wasn't easy. However, I reminded myself of what my husband had said. I am his wife, and he loves me unconditionally. External appearances may change, but the real beauty lies within, as God reminds us.
Trusting Love and Restoring Intimacy
After a few weeks of healing, our surgeon gave us the green light to resume our physical relationship. I was concerned about how my husband would feel about my new body, but those fears were unfounded. Open communication became our lifeline. I expressed my insecurities, and he reassured me of his unwavering love and acceptance. Our intimate relationship was built on trust, understanding, and vulnerability.
Embrace Your Unique Beauty
To be honest, I still have moments when I feel self-conscious about my scars. But as I've learned, my husband loves me for who I am, not for how I look. I wear tank tops and lacy camisoles, not to please him, but to ease my own insecurities. If you struggle with body image, communicate your feelings with your partner. Realize that your flaws are likely minor in comparison to the love and fulfillment you can experience together.
A Message of Love and Acceptance
Remember, your husband married you because he loves you. You are beautiful in his eyes, and he desires your love and intimacy. Don't let insecurities hinder your relationship. Discuss your concerns, and allow open communication to strengthen your bond. Physical beauty may fade, but the beauty of your inner self, a gentle and quiet spirit, will always shine through.
Embrace Love and Fulfillment
Today, I encourage you to reach out to your husband with a simple but powerful message. Send him an email saying, "Hey, babe, how about tonight we put some wear and tear on our marriage license?" Let love and desire be your guiding force. As Proverbs 13:12 reminds us, a fulfilled desire is a tree of life.
Blessings to you, and remember to prioritize your health with regular mammograms!
