Congratulations! You have received an invitation to a bar or bat mitzvah celebration of a friend or family member. This is an exciting event that you won't want to miss. But what exactly should you expect as a guest? Let's find out together.
Dress Code: Looking Your Best
Guests at a bar/bat mitzvah celebration usually dress up for the occasion. Men typically wear suits, slacks, ties, and jackets, while women opt for dresses or formal pantsuits. In more traditional communities, dress codes might be stricter, with women wearing hats and avoiding pants. The key is to look presentable and respectful.
Arrival Time: Punctuality Matters
The time mentioned on the invitation is usually the official starting time for the weekly Shabbat, or Sabbath, service. Both family members and invited guests make an effort to arrive on time, even though the bar/bat mitzvah activities may take place later in the service. However, it's common for guests and regular congregants to arrive late. So, don't worry if you find yourself fashionably late.
Prayer Shawl: A Symbol of Faith
The tallit, or prayer shawl, is traditionally worn by Jewish males and, in liberal congregations, by Jewish women as well. It serves as a reminder to observe the commandments of Judaism. If you are not Jewish or simply uncomfortable wearing it, it is perfectly fine to decline an usher's offer of a tallit at the door.
Kippah, or Yarmulke: A Sign of Respect
During the service, it is customary for men to wear a kippah, also known as a yarmulke, which is a head covering. In more liberal synagogues, women may also wear hats or a lace head covering. Wearing a kippah is a universal act of respect towards God and the sanctity of the worship space. Many synagogues provide baskets of kippahs at the entrance, and the bar/bat mitzvah hosts often offer custom-made ones as mementos.
Maintaining Sanctity: Showing Respect
As a guest, it is important to honor the sanctity of the prayer service and Shabbat. Here are a few guidelines to keep in mind:
- Set your cell phone or beeper to vibrate or turn it off.
- Refrain from taking pictures. Some families hire professional photographers or videographers who can capture the moments for you. In more traditional settings, photography is strictly prohibited on Shabbat.
- Avoid smoking within the sanctuary, inside the building, or on the synagogue grounds.
- Do not write or engage in any other activities that may disrupt the service.
- Respect the solemnity of the occasion by refraining from speaking during the service. While others around you may chat quietly, some synagogues consider this a breach of decorum.
Now that you know what to expect, you can attend the bar/bat mitzvah celebration with confidence and respect. Enjoy witnessing this significant milestone and sharing in the joyous celebration of a cherished friend or family member.
